My friend Eddie Lopez used to tell me, in his slightly Texan accent, "Megan, you hate everything!" He was cute. Probably still is. Haven't seen him in years, but we chat online occasionally. He was just trying to make me see how negative I am. Was. Still am. Probably he wasn't trying to do anything but got sick of me telling him how much I hated this or that....
My ex-boyfriend hated a lot of things:
Tight shirt collars - bothered his neck.
Scratchy fabric - bothered his body.
Crayon wrappers - the paper around each crayon - he had to remove that before using the crayons.
Coral Reefs. There we were, sitting with other friends at a coffee shop and this peripheral acquaintance of one friend came over to tell us about his deep sea diving photography. He metioned various ocean creatures and fish, and coral reefs. He left. My ex said, with a shiver, "oooargh!!! Achchch! I hate coral reefs!" We all stared at him for a moment because he looked like he had bugs all over him or was going to vomit, and then we all laughed.
I asked, "How could you hate coral reefs? You've never been diving. Plus, how can you hate something like coral reefs?"
"They're just so scratchy!" he exclaimed, looking disgusted again.
There's no response for this. There's no convincing him to like coral reefs, or to want to touch an actual coral reef. I think he's responding to the scratchiness of those little dead pieces of coral that come with the touristy shell collections you can buy at beachside bodegas. Yes, those are scratchy.
My ex is a lot like Monk, the OCD detective on television. I hope he's gotten some help for this, because he was constantly tortured by his tics and dislikes and anxieties when we were together. Perhaps it was in response to me. How egocentric, Megan.
Things I hate....
Pretty, thin women who use their looks to get ahead
The men and others who fall for the shit of pretty, thin women
Cultural pressure to be a pretty, thin woman
Liver
Scratchy hotel sheets
Polyester hotel bedspreads
Hot, sunny, summer days
Not being a bazillionaire
My own laziness and lack of motivation
My OCD tendencies, which I'm not willing to explain here.
The dog poop in my backyard
The fact that dogs poop
The fact that I have to clean up after them
I dunno - there's more. I say that I 'hate' things, but I probably need to find a better word. Things make me feel stuff.
That's deep.
I hate not being closer to perfect.
I hate being hot (I'm referring to temperature). It's Summer. It's hot. I have yardwork to do. It's stinky and poopy in my backyard and I now have to get up and brave the sun and heat (with a lot of sunscreen) and start cleaning.
Woo hoo
I hate not having one of those mini bulldozer things to use to clean the yard.
Whatever, Megan. You hate everything!
Love ya, Eddie.
4 comments:
I'm new to your blog, Megan, and I like your voice. It's nice to be back in touch.
I imagine you blog for various reasons, as I do, and that one of the reasons may be to prompt discussion. So, in that spirit, these lines caught my eye in the list of things you hate (or, rather, as you so aptly stated, make you feel things):
Pretty, thin women who use their looks to get ahead
The men and others who fall for the shit of pretty, thin women
Cultural pressure to be a pretty, thin woman
Fair enough - but may I ask how you feel pretty, thin women do that and what you think they should do instead?
Good point, Beth.
It's all about perspective. Not having ever been a "pretty, thin woman" I definitely have some jealousy and leftover adolescent angst about not being "part of". I'm not sure that ever goes away.
Some days are better than others. I'm thinner right now than I was two months ago, so I'm happier in some superficial way. I don't think I'm prettier.
I blog to gain perspective, to say things "out loud", to communicate with those who bother reading what I write....
I think that our culture puts way too much emphasis and importance on superficialities, such as thinness and prettiness, and that women in general should be valued for what they do, and who they are, rather than for what they look like. That's idealistic, and unrealistic I suppose. But that's my answer for now.
I understand that, and agree; the angst seemed, though, in the way you had phrased it, to place the responsibility for that on the women themselves rather than the social dynamic.
Humans are tool-users by nature. Pretty, thin women have one more tool to use in this society - but pretty, thin women with no substance to offer once they get through the doors our culture throws open so eagerly for them don't get to keep those positions long. Merit wins out quite a bit of the time in the long run; slow and steady wins the race.
And, of course, the flip side is that pretty, thin women who don't know how to make their way in the world are also preyed upon with as much enthusiasm as they are adored; they get to be at the front of that line, too. It's a double-edged sword.
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