Ted's Haggard

On one hand I feel sorry for poor Ted. Not only is his image indelibly soiled, his family will be shaken if not shattered. His career aspirations are derailed. The corner office at the right hand of Jesus is now out of reach. He'll certainly never be promoted to "God" now that he's been outed. Perhaps if he hides in rehab for a long-enough period and donates some of his millions to humanitarian efforts he'll be less despised.
Probably not.
On the gripping hand (to quote my long-lost friend, Russell), Ted's soap opera parallels the plight of the billionaire business-mogul who declares bankruptcy. Most of his assets are protected in a legal loophole so that he can climb back on top, using the masses as stepping stones along the way.
Masses. Get it?
He'll be behind the pulpit again in no time, regardless of this whole affair.
Sodomy. Everybody's doing it!
Could it be... SATAN???
Was Teddy tempted by the Dev-il?
My inner cynic screams for justice, while the treacherous tip the scales.
I've done some things in my past about which I am not proud. None of my transgressions were on the scale of Haggard's lies and lack of integrity. Plus, I sent money to the department store from which I stole that bra. I have attempted to take personal responsibility for my past choices, and for my present reality.
I did not stand before crowds and preach the opposite of my practices.
Most of us don't.
Most of us don't speak publicly.
Most of them shouldn't.
This is just another example of human hubris.
What makes someone need that degree of affirmation?
What makes others need to believe the proselytising of criminals?
Dobson, Haggard, Swaggert, Baker - Manson, Gacy, Dahmer, Hitler
Humans.
Ack.

Horrible Haggard Haiku

Preaching pretty hate
Stand and deliver "good news"
Fingers crossed behind

Satan lures the weak
Waiting, lurking, patiently
If you so believe

Blame it on your God
Free-will was too much to bear
Powerlessness reigns

That which you deny
Puppet, you are made to dance
By your own design

Will your bearing turn?
Or will power and applause
Steer again your bow?

Future lies unknown
Unseen possibilities
All assume the worst

Love was not enough
You sought gratification
Beyond biblical

Soaring t'wards the glare
Flames ignited your descent
Your light shines no more

There once was a liar named Ted
Who couldn't live all that he said
He snorted some meth
And then got undressed
With him for whom Ted had great dread

There once was a preacher named Haggard
Who ranted and raved just like Swaggert
He judged all the gay boys
And lambasted lesbos
But turned out to be a big faggert.